Monday, June 11, 2012

Careful what you wish for...

After a fantastic semester, I am very thankful to be home! My flights were smooth, and I was even blessed to be able to travel part of the way with a good friend from BFA. We didn't realize until a few days before we traveled that we were on the same flight, and the fellowship we shared was an unexpected blessing! I've been home for nearly a week, and I'm happy to report that most of the jet-lag is gone. I think. I'm not waking up in the middle of the night any more at least :) I'm enjoying some wonderful family time, and was overwhelmed yet again by the love shown to me by my church. 

Over the past week, I have discovered that if you ask God for things like humility or faith, He takes you very seriously. I asked God for both, and He is certainly working on me in both areas. Before boarding a plane for the US, I was thinking about how my faith grew during my initial support-raising stage. I found myself asking God to increase my faith again. A couple of days after I got home, I was informed that my account with my mission was in the red, and seriously so. I'll admit, my response was very poor. I was angry, and wanting to put blame on someone or something other than me. I was frustrated, and could think only of what I could have done better or differently. Then came the "what ifs." What if no one wants to keep supporting me? What if my supporters all drop me? What if I can't go back to Germany? What will happen to all the new staff? What will happen to my guys? I could feel my heart breaking. And this is when God taught me a simple, poignant lesson. "You, Lauren, are not indispensable. I can do this work without you. I have merely chosen to use you." Although I would have told you before that I believed this to be true, at this moment this statement became a reality for me. I acknowledge that He is right, as He always is. And then I asked Him what He wanted me to do. After a long, painful, tearful afternoon, I began to send out requests for support, both asking current supporters to renew, and asking new individuals to begin supporting. I have been amazed at the responses that I continue to receive. From the first request I sent out, there has been a steady stream of responses from those wishing to support me and the work at BFA. At this point, I have about 60% of the 90% percent necessary for me to return to Germany in the fall. The implications are still rather serious. If I am not at 90% I cannot board the plane in August. But after seeing the way that God supplied the need two years ago, and now is doing again, I am confident that He has a plan. I'm doing what I know how to do to contact supporters, and He is doing the major part of moving people's hearts. My faith and  confidence in Him is growing already, and I am excited to see how things will turn out. So when you ask God for something, know that He hears, He answers, and He is always working for our good and His glory.
Sonne guys: classy...

and crazy!!

I am still prayerfully looking for individuals to support me, especially monthly. If you are interested in partnering with me and BFA, you can either contact me directly at laurenholland25@yahoo.com, or follow this link: http://www.teachbeyond.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=98&Itemid=76 

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